Aunt Paula

Six short years ago tonight on December 5 my sweet Aunt Paula passed away after an almost 3 year battle with ovarian cancer. My Aunt was my mothers sister and was there for my brother and sister and I for our whole lives. My Aunt loved to travel and thru her career with the airlines traveled the world. She never had any children and because of that she loved us more, if you know what I mean. My aunt had a tough life, never really had any breaks, had a lot of sorrow and disapointments but the last time I ever saw her in Miami in her hospital bed 2 weeks before she died, I asked her what was the happiest day of you life and she looked at me and said, I had to many to pick one. She said the day I was born, the day Jon was born, and the day Shari was born, the day we each got married and the day we each had our children. Here was a woman who was dying, her tumor so big she couldn't move and she was sad and didn't complain. I remember her everyday. I remember her good nature, her kindness, her love, her attention, her devotion. I can hardly believe it has been 6 years already. Andrew was almost 3 now he is almost 9. I remember her holding him when he was small and she was crying, she knew she would never see him grow up.

I remember you today Aunt Paula, I remember you everyday of my life. I miss you. I remember being so relieved when she died, she suffered so much and for so long. Her dying wish was that I would have my ovaries out, which I did less than 2 weeks after she died.

On Oprah today she had the author of Tuesdays with Morrie, and asked the question if you could go back to one day in your life who would you be with. Most people said a grandparent but I am young and have buried so many people I love including both parents I would choose my dad. Perhaps because his loss is still so fresh. My mom has been gone so long, I would need more than a day to catch up with her. But my dad I could spend a day with. We would sit in a booth at The White House in Atlantic City and I would just talk and touch him, smell his cologne and look at his happy smiling face.

Today was just not an ordinary day, it was Aunt Paula's day.